Not quite a final draft: suggestions please? - streaming teem
Graves, allows taking into account the proposals.
No actor or Scottish football fans alike.
This is a sonnet, btw.
Lake in Winter
The lake in winter, ice creaks and squeaks crazy;
The numbness is adherence to the strike in all directions:
The occurrence of iron, called the silence of solid ice,
Everywhere along the nerves, with the terrible stress.
A thin voice spirits complained Distances
As the cry of the heron in water;
A ghost memory of the time the summer rains,
This is unfortunate echo of the summer.
Why not here? My hands are cold sore
My mind is lost, and in the depths of winter caught:
This expectation is worried because my ideas are old
And everyone is locked in a frozen sleep.
If yourNo warm current, the release of ice cream?
Is there any hope for peace with fresh spring?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Streaming Teem Not Quite A Final Draft: Suggestions Please?
8 comments:
So we can really write a sonnet! It is very good, picture and tempo: a metaphor for his feelings about his absent lover. Garza Gulch in the water ... "But the water freezes. Would you say," ... through the valley ... "My soul is lost" means a mental illness, what would you say: "I feel lost ..."
In any case, I see more of his work. Would you like us to send you an me?
It is the poetry of what Les Dawson was playing.Out and pounding piano key words without much thinking, I do not even know know what they are in your mother loves about.Perhaps, but it seems that the rest here.
The stage is clear ... For me, I know that it's not ... Is the pain in the winter? ...
Without doubt, the tranquility of the lake brings can still follow the spirit of the people to see and things.
I am speechless because you are all adjectives and all those who have used, remains for me to comment!
I am speechless because you are all adjectives and all those who have used, remains for me to comment!
This is really good. I love it! I have no suggestions seriously. It's really good!
Keep writing!
Hannie!
It's a bit boring, but .... as my nan.
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